Nott What You'd Expected...

PARENTAL ADVISORY: Pub Golf

This post is entitled "Parental Advisory", not because it's in any offensive, just because i'm not sure my parents and g-parents, who regularly subscribe to my rantings, are interested in hearing my Pub Golf exploits....

Since my last post (a whopping 2ish days), i finally got my hair cut, i went on a pub golf crawl across the "Campus 9", and managed to make some facebook friends along the way. I know, Facebook is the ultimate test to a successful night....

Mary cut my hair at about 2am on Tuesday, while Brando and Hil watched on and took in some amazing Sigur Ros videos.... honestly, i might have to post them here... there's something about them that-as Brandon will attest, being the one that introduced them to me- are moving, incredibly well timed and, although random and artsy, find a way to convey a message even amongst made up languages and icelandic crazy talk...
Otherwise, Wednesday was packed. American Lit dragged on while our prof again generalized about America and the religiously alligorical framework that every book is written in, and in Traditions of Islam, our snooty prof explained the huge controversy (a word they pronounce in hilarious ways here) over Jack Straw's comments about Muslim women wearing the headscarves- how it "hinders acceptance" and is a "threat to security"....good stuff...

After taking a huge nap instead of practice (don't worry, i got my running in later), i took down an amazing indian chicken dinner (complete with nan, flatbread that will 'change your world'), and busted out the door. Hil and I have decided that, in all future endeavors with the socials down at campus, we will ride bikes- it's about 1.5 hrs faster, but more dangerous in heels (hilary, not me, what the hell....)
A quick bikeride in Robin Hood attire later, we arrived at the first pub to find people in much better getups than us... all in all about 40 runners and friends showed up, and the Golf began around 8ish.
PARENTAL ADVISORY IN EFFECT...
The rules are simple: each pub is a 'hole'. each hole is worth a certain number of 'strokes' or drinks... that is to say, if you chug the drink, it's a hole in one... any pause or breath is the end of one, and you count the next.... AKA, you chug all the drinks, you score a 9... every time you go under par (usually around 2 for guys, 3 for girls, depends on the drink) you go under par.... just like golf...
Each guy was paired with a girl, and out of all 20 guys at the game, Hilary was lucky enough to be paired with.....me. so much for meeting new people. The word lucky here is intended... you'll see why later.
The pubs were all located in the dorms, a crazy sight for the avg American, under 21 or not... some were amazing, one had a huge big screen, one had about 30 guys cheering for Chelsea in the huge game vs. Barcelona (hell yeah, Chelsea won 1-0).... The sight was something to behold, 40 skinny runners dressed in green, trodding across the dewy Nottingham countryside from pub to pub.
Each hole also held a secret task- be it silence until the drink was ordered, a piggyback ride from the next pub, holding hands, taking pictures with random people, or trying to pick up an 'outlaw' to go to the next pub...
We hit a snag in one bar, in which the bartender claimed that "This is a bisto, not a bar... we can't serve you here...." The idea being, after last year, when 14 bars on campus were open so many people got sick doing the "Campus 14" that they closed some and turned others into low-key bistros that were more like coffee shops....
To the scoring: Hil and I won. flat out. I scored a 9, she scored something like a 13... we were about 20 under par, and after the States' terrible performance in the Ryder Cup (which we were made fun of for?), we wiped the floor with the brits... (hence why she was lucky to have me for a partner...)

At a certain point, it was decided that we should head to ISIS the nasty Roscoe's-esque dance club, which sits at the SW corner of town.... The bus ride there was amazing.... The thing about people here is, if they're in a club or society or group, they pledge an amazing amount of support. The bus was filled with people from two halls (Dorms): Lenton or something, and another one?... The entire time, there were chants from girls to guys back and forth, ripping on one hall, touting another as the best "I'm Lincoln till I die, I'm lincoln till I die, I know i am, i'm sure i am, i'm lincoln till i die" "Ryder hall is full of queers, doo dah, doo dah" "Lincoln girls drink their wine, screw our boys, something something something else...."

It was amazing... for about 10 minutes, i stood at the front of the bus, gripping the overhand bar, and laughed my ass off... After a while, a USA USA chant started and- the Lucas within me bursting forth- started yelling with them and cheering...
Later, in line, a snooty british princess (ugly, btw, not that it matters, but in villainizes her more...) decided to tell me just what she thought of my american-ness... "Just like an American, loud, obnoxious...why are you even wearing that shirt?" (pointing to my England shirt...it was cool, trust me)Finally, we made it to the club.... it was lame (crazy cool, but no one i knew, so inversely, lame), and i decided to leave- maybe make my way to city centre and find a taxi or the tram lines....

Unfortunately, there were several things going against me: 1)i had no idea where i was. 2) we had driven for about 15 minutes from campus, which is a 45 min walk from home. 3) i still had no idea where i was.
So, i did what any crazy runner-turned-golfer-turned-clubber-turned-lost American does in a foreign city.... I ran home from the club. 30:35....that's my time, so i'm going to guess around a 4 mile run? In conclusion, it was a pretty random decision, but i actually know the town well enough that after about 3 minutes of running, i found a bus route that we ride often enough, and ran along it until i connected to the Ring Road, and made my way home.
After arriving home sweaty, i relaxed to some MLB (Playoffs i guess shown on Channel Five every night at 2am....) Bringing my Americanness full circle.... A long day of patriotism and Golfing over, I was tired and made my way to bed....
I'm still waiting for my Pub Golf prize....

posted by Kevin @ 11:53 AM