Nott What You'd Expected...

Tough Look at Rough Guides

Looking for an absolute bullshit introduction into the Essence of England? Look no further than the RoughGuide books or website, which offer this 'gem':

Like an ageing cabaret star shuffling onto the stage, England really needs no introduction. When even the world’s most remote communities are on first-name terms with its footballers, princes and prime ministers, it’s clear that everyone knows something about this crowded nation, perched on Europe’s western fringe. As a visitor, you can pick your favourite slice of “Englishness” and indulge yourself in a country with a notorious taste for nostalgia. The tales of King Arthur; the works of Shakespeare; the exploits of Drake; the intellect of Johnson; the invention of Brunel; the leadership of Churchill; the cult of Diana – all are endlessly recycled in England, providing a cultural backdrop to an unparalleled range of historic buildings, monuments and landscapes.

You've got to be kidding me. Cabaret star? Who writes this stuff? I read this aloud to Mark yesterday, to which he responded with (something to the effects of) "Who the hell wrote that?! Are you serious?!?" .... this coming from a sensitive, elfin-like literary scholar from America's heartland...

Today I was leafing through a British Phrase Book that I received as a gift, and it made me laugh. I found myself laughing, mumbling to myself and coming to the realization that damn, I've been here for an awfully long time, and damn, I'm going to miss this quirky-ass nation.

Place pronunciations, slang terms, ironic stories of history, the roots of phrases.... it's become a part of who I am over the past year, and I can't quite remember myself without it.

In true RoughGuides fashion, I also glanced at their Top Things To Do in the UK... here's a little checklist that apparently I've not been so successful at completing...

1 Soaking up the Edinburgh Festival.
2 Go West - walking the Pembrokeshire Coast Path.
3 Punting on the Cam.
4 Supping Guinness in Dublin.
5 Wandering Borrowdale in the Lake District.
6 Be humbled by Durham Cathedral.
7 Cycling in the New Forest.
8 See the Belfast Murals.
9 Surfing in Newquay.
10 Breathing in the sea air in Tobermory.
11 Hiking in Snowdonia.
12 Hunting ghosts in York.
13 Hitting the streets for Notting Hill Carnival.
14 Getting away from it all on Skellig Michael.
15 Get lost in the Balti Triangle.
16 Clubbing in London.
17 Walking on Dartmoor.
18 Trundling along the West Highlands Railway.
19 Winning the prehistoric lottery (Newgrange Lottery, Co Meath).
20 Watching a football match at Old Trafford. (i'll pretend that City Grounds counts)
21 Losing yourself in Connemara.
22 Take a stroll from St Paul's to Tate Modern.
23 Holkham magic: visiting the best beach in Britain.
24 Walking the walls of Conwy Castle.
25 Experience Glastonbury.

I took some creative liberties, mainly 'clubbing', 'Old Trafford', guesses as to where exactly Dartmoor was, and pretending that the antique market in Notting Hill is just as good as the Carnival...

With just one month remaining, and a few thousand words to type, the giant metaphoric clock is ticking... Tomorrow Kate and Emily leave for Norway for some last-minute travel, and it looks like a trend of flat-notsomuch-togetherness might follow suit. Mary hits the road with a few visitors later, while Hilary and Ryan are planning a much needed trip to Scotland before the year is out... Aside from our finals with Mark and Carol and a few choice birthdays, our time as a unit is dwindling...

As much as I feel the pull home, I know that two weeks in, I'll be itching for my Nottingham friends and the feeling of the flat... you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.... you can quote me on that.

posted by Kevin @ 11:02 PM